In our everyday lives we meet people who exude confidence and self-esteem, whether it be work colleagues, friends, family members or professionals we meet along the way. They smile, they laugh and approach situations and challenges in a relaxed way, comfortable in their own skin and happy. They just seem to take everything in their stride and succeed in whatever they turn their hands to.   For many of us however, that confidence and positive self-esteem can seem totally alien and an unachievable dream.

Almost everyone I see in my Aberdeenshire clinic in Banchory comes with confidence and self-esteem issues at one level or another. And the impact on their lives can be immense. Symptoms can include:

• A lack of assertiveness – difficulty stating your opinion, avoidance of conflict and a tendency to back down in order to please others.
• Emotional sensitivity – comments from others, even the way they look at you, can be interpreted negatively. Often there is a tendency to jump to negative and often worst case scenarios.
• Difficulty making decisions and sticking to them.
• Genuine compliments can be hard to believe.
• Fear of failure – often giving up on your goals easily or perhaps not even attempting them.
• Comparing yourself unfavourable to others.
• Poor posture – head down, slouching, perhaps feeling the need to hide yourself either physically or by your choice in clothing.
• Avoidance of situations and social contact.
• Over apologising.

The list goes on. It’s easy to see how a lock of confidence and self-esteem can affect all areas of life, holding you back and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled. The great news is that these feelings can be unlearned. At some time, even if it was so long ago in childhood that we can’t remember, we have all been confident and that ability is still there. It needs to be rediscovered and nurtured. Solution Focused Hypnotherapy is here to help.